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Have you listened to how you talk to yourself lately? I mean really listened to the tapes playing in your mind. They've played for so long now that you probably don't notice anymore. When we participate in negative self-talk, we're judge, jury and prosecutor all in our minds. We would never speak to a stranger that way and definitely not a friend. And because the law corresponds to our thinking, you can be sure your judgments and criticisms will manifest as conditions in your life.
Here are some examples (you can fill in your own blanks). Have you ever thought? "I'm always buried in bills," "I'm never going to get promoted," "I'm unlovable," "I'm fat and unlucky," "I always come in second, never first." These lies you tell yourself keep your childhood wounds fresh and upfront in your daily life. Today, I'm asking you to make a radical change and to start speaking to yourself in a loving manner. Your life will always present challenges and hurdles to climb, but your false stories don't create positive energy to meet those challenges in a productive way. We are our own worst enemies, and judging ourselves is a destructive habit we must break. Here's an example from my own life. Yesterday I was working out with my trainer. I was about 10 minutes from the end of the session. Suddenly my chest began to hurt, I couldn't catch my breath and I felt like my chest was caving in. Surely I would never make it to the end of the session. My inner voice was already being critical of me whispering "Who do you think you are? A bodybuilder? An athlete? You're just a girl from Queens who couldn't throw or catch a softball in grade school. No one wanted you on their team. You're spastic. You're terrible at sports." I felt like a complete failure, and then my trainer reminded me that I could do it. He said, "B, you're just afraid of falling. Don't worry. The floor will catch you every time." His words made me laugh and helped me remove the self-criticism from my mind, and I was able to catch my breath and make it through the workout. With my trainer's motivation, the negative self-talk was neutralized. Our negative self-talk has tremendous power over us. Catch yourself today if you hear yourself speaking unkindly to yourself. Remember these are lies that were fabricated when you were younger. Next time they appear, stop and really look at what's behind these thoughts. Is it fear? Is it hurt? Is it sorrow? Take a moment to dismantle them by seeing the emotion behind it. You see, the truth is that you are a beautiful child of the Divine with all of the qualities of God within you. You are that peace, power, beauty, love, harmony, creativity and wholeness right now. This evening before going to bed, I invite you to do something to deflate these thoughts. Look in the mirror (yes you can do it), and say these truths about yourself: "I am beautiful," "I am whole," "I am worthy." Say these statements again in the morning when you wake up and repeat them during the day when you catch yourself having a negative thought about yourself. Be gentle and patient as you allow these new thoughts to take root in your mind. Relax and feel the love of the Divine express in you, as you and through you. Know that God did not make a mistake in creating you perfect, whole, complete and glorious. Stand in your truth right now and I promise your life will change. You will have the full bounty of love, peace, power and happiness right now. But first stop judging yourself so harshly and practice loving kindness on yourself and all of humanity. Develop deep compassion for yourself and others and feel the love in your heart expand to new heights. And, yes, during my training session, I realized that the exertion wasn't what was weighing me down. My critical self-talk was the weight that needed releasing. Once I realized that I was able to take a deep breath, dissolve it and complete the workout. When negative self-talk appears for you, I ask you to look the lie squarely in the face and don't let these thoughts derail you. Remember, "You are beautiful," "You are whole," "You are worthy." Peace to all.
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Meditation is the key to living a joyous, peaceful and healthy life. Everyone needs this practice to live well in our demanding world. You don't have to be a yogi or a monk to practice meditation nor do you have to devote a lot of time to it. So how do people who are devoted to spiritual practice fit it into their already packed schedule? Here are some ways that really work.
I've been enjoying the benefits of meditation for many years now -- a great feeling, that has real lasting power. You can do it too. Just follow the seven tips and you will be well one your way to infinite bliss. Work With Me If you need assistance with meditation or any other issue, we can work together to make desired changes. Contact me at revbarbgulbran@cs.com to get started. Manifest your soul mate with powerful spiritual techniques that really work
Pick up any novel, go see any movie, or look at ads on TV and you will find happy couples being portrayed. If you don't have a life partner, you may feel depressed, lonely and even hopeless when these images appear. It does not have to be this way. Each one of you can find true love by next Valentine's Day or sooner by applying powerful spiritual principles in your daily life. If I manifested my soul mate over 20 years ago, you can too. If you have tried everything that our high-tech world has to offer in the dating arena and it hasn't worked, don't give up. Your soul mate is looking for you right now. In this article, I will reveal the five secrets for attracting true love. The first major step is to open your heart and soul to applying these spiritual principles and decide that as a child of God you are loveable and worthy of love right now. Step One For Attracting Your Soul Mate Step One on the path of true love is to use affirmations. You may be saying "I already know this. What's the secret here?" The secret is to remember why, and how, affirmations work. When you have a thought and/or when you speak, your words and thoughts go out into the Universe and collect like energy. They keep attracting energy and then come back to you with that energy multiplied. The result? Conditions in your life and your experiences. Not only that, but your words have a vibration. Negative words and phrases carry a lower vibration and positive words and phrases carry a higher vibration. So you can see that affirmations are much more than positive thinking; they are powerful attractors of what you want, and don't want, in your life. Examples of affirmations for attracting a soul mate include: Love is my divine birthright, and I claim it now.* I give and receive love fully.* I release the past and let love flow into my life.* Add your own affirmations to this list and say them like you mean it. Keep in mind that the words Love and God are some of the most powerful words you can use to attract love, joy and peace into your life. Step Two For Attracting Your Soul Mate The next powerful step in attracting your soul mate is to raise your vibration. The key to finding true love is to keep that vibration high. We operate on a frequency; and when our vibration raises, we are more attuned to the spiritual realm. We can more clearly hear, see and feel angels, guides and celestial beings who will whisper instructions in your ear or your heart to unite you with your soul mate. Please listen to these instructions as they will come more frequently as you live a more spiritual life. When you live from this quickened state, you are a magnet for love because you radiate peace, love and joy and an energy that your soul mate cannot resist! Tips for raising your vibration include:
Secret Three for Attracting Your Soul Mate The third step is to use Positive Prayer daily. You can master this powerful spiritual practice and manifest not only the love of your life but the life that you love! This type of prayer always works; it's guaranteed. If you want to learn how to do this type of prayer see "The Power of Prayer" starting on page 51 of How to Attract Your Soul Mate by Barbara Gulbranson. Be careful not to outline when using Positive Prayer. That means we don't tell God how, we just set the intention and start the Law of Attraction working. Spirit will work out the details for us. When I met my husband 19 years ago, I did my Positive Prayer and had no idea where I would meet my soul mate. He was drawn to move into the apartment next door to me that was being used as a storage unit. He told the apartment manager to "clean it out, "I'm moving in" because he was drawn to it for an unknown reason. Your soul mate can be on the other ends of the Earth, and you don't have to worry about how to meet him or her. Just do your Positive Prayer and Spirit will guide you along the way. Step Four for Attracting Your Soul Mate The secret's out. Mental visualization is a powerful attractor of what you want to manifest in your life. See yourself happy and with your soul mate (but please no particular person in mind). Visualize a joyous relationship. Power your prayers with the vision in your mind's eye. Soon it will move from your mind's eye to being visible before you. Step Five for Attracting Your Soul Mate Forgiveness is the fifth step for attracting true love. As we hold onto grudges or resentments, we simply cannot move on to a healthy, conscious relationship. One of the main blocks in finding true love is failure to forgive. I've seen people hold onto to grudges for 50 years and they are not any happier for it. Why is forgiveness a key to finding your soul mate? Because forgiveness creates a shift in energy. It sets you free. What happened happened, and you can't change it. But you can change the energy around it. Your ability for happiness decreases as your inability to forgive increases because you have not let go and resolved past issues. Hanging onto the past will block your future. This doesn't mean you have to love the person who hurt you, but it does mean that you accept the gift and the healing from the situation and deepen your connection with God. Discover the Love That Awaits You Finding your soul mate is all about giving and receiving love. These five easy, but powerful steps, lift your vibration to greater heights and open the door for love and light to stream into your heart space. Your heart is expanding right now. Just by your intention alone, you are attracting love into your life - love that is already within you waiting to be revealed in greater ways. Use these steps and discover for yourself love beyond what you ever imagined. The Divine Lover beckons you to forgive, release, love, and live in the higher vibratory states. In doing so, you will find love in your personal relationships greater than you ever imagined. Work With Rev. Barbara If you are looking for a soul mate, prosperity, a new job, joy, peace or health, work with Rev. Barbara to make your dream a reality. Rev. Barbara uses a compassionate, nonjudgmental approach to counseling. Plus, she uses her gift of clairaudience to deliver Divine messages and guidance to you. Each session includes and optional angel reading and a personalized positive prayer that continues throughout the week. You will come away with spiritual tools to integrate into your daily life. Spiritual counseling deepens your connection with Spirit and opens up the avenues of joy, love, success and peace. To schedule your coaching session, contact Rev. Barbara at schedulemycoachingsession. Sessions take place via phone, Skype, Facetime or in-person. * Adapted from the book, How to Attract Your Soul Mate: The Secrets of Lasting Love by Barbara Gulbranson. Manifesting your desires is a simple and natural process. All too often, we set the intention in Mind and proceed to sabotage our efforts. Here are nine traps not to fall into when creating something new in your life.
The next time you are ready to manifest a life change, remember to let love in and leave sabotage behind. As always, I invite you to share your experience with me. Contact me at revbarbgulbran@cs.com. And if you need spiritual support on your path, work with me and together we will manifest your desires. The pain of loss is excruciating. Whether you have lost a loved one, a job, or a community, it feels like someone has taken a hammer to your heart and shattered it into a million sharp pieces. You feel like you are bleeding from the inside out and you just can't stop the hurting. This type of pain is unbearable; and while you are still living, you no longer feel alive. You want it to go away, have it end, but you feel helpless in the clutches of your loss. There's no way to go back in time to make it all better, to say what could have been said or change what could have been changed. You are left alone, raw and naked with your bleeding wound and wanting so much to heal as fast as possible. But the healing takes too long and the suffering is too much for a human heart to bear.
When the pain of loss drives you to your knees and reduces you to a pile of tears, there is something you can do to turn the notch down on the suffering. What I am going to suggest is radically different and something everyone who has suffered loss can do. And I mean everyone. Here it is in a nutshell. DO NOTHING. Yes, do nothing. Your physical, mental and emotional selves need time to heal. When grieving, your body slows down so you can enter into the wound, feel it fully, experience the hurt and let it heal in its own time. Going full blast into motion distracts from the healing and doesn't lessen the pain. Yes, we are told to read self-help books, to volunteer, to talk to friends, to get busy and to journal. All of these are excellent methods of healing. But before we take on all the to-dos of healing, we must take a time out to feel what we feel and experience this fully and completely. As Buddhist teacher Pema Chodran says, "The only way out of the pain is through the pain." You must enter into the experience in order to come out renewed and whole (although you are always whole even in the midst of suffering). I am not suggesting you wallow in sorrow; rather, allow yourself time to feel, to experience, to mend; and then take healing actions on a more active level. From my own personal experience with loss, one of the most healing steps to take while being in the present moment is the Buddhist practice of metta. It is the practice of loving kindness, for yourself, for the one you have lost and for all beings in the world. It goes like this. First send loving kindness to yourself by saying the following (of course you can fill in your own words that spring from your heart): May I feel peace, May I feel love, May I feel the Divine Presence within. Next send out loving kindness to the person you have lost. Maybe this person intentionally left you or you have lost the loved one because of death. Say the following: May (person's name) feel peace, May (person's name) feel love, May (person's name) feel the Divine Presence within. Then, send out loving kindness to all of humanity because there are many beings on Earth who are suffering from loss just like you are. Say: May all beings feel peace, May all beings feel love, May all beings feel the Divine Presence within. Sending loving kindness to someone who has hurt you and to all sentient beings is a sweet healing balm that fills your entire being with the peace that hope brings. Your heart fills with love, and love is the only thing that heals all wounds. Do this for a while and then add other healing actions to your day (such as meditation, getting out in nature, journaling, serving creation, etc.). But do so slowly and carefully because to rush the process or deny it will only be a bandage over your wound instead of deep healing. If you are currently suffering from such a loss, please keep a ray of hope in your heart because you will heal. The Divine Presence is always within you and never leaves you. God casts warmth and peace on the brokenhearted and is ever present even in your darkest hour. Make the most of the dark night of the soul by growing and expanding your heart. A heart that's been cracked open is more receptive to giving and receiving love in a beautiful and tender way. After all, we are here not to avoid pain but to open our hearts and express God's love to others. Embrace love fully and remember what Abe Lincoln said, "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." Let's rejoice that even though the thorns of love may prick and make you bleed, the sweetness of the rose is what will heal. Peace to all. When I got rejected from a chaplaincy training program that I had my heart set on, I was shocked. The priest had handed it to me on a silver platter and then decided that I didn't fit in with the group he was assembling. "How could he do this to me?" I asked. "How could my plans go so far awry?" Even with the shock and disbelief there was no anger. Yes, I was sad and disappointed. For about one day. The truth is that I did not fit in with the fundamental group he was creating. What's more, I knew that when these things happen there is a greater picture - a sacred picture that holds a higher meaning for everyone involved. This was not a rejection. This was a redirection. And redirections are always for our highest good.
If you are being redirected, release all limitations and lean into it. Holding back in fear prevents you from experiencing the rich, passionate, joyous life you were created to experience. You will be forever stuck in your current conditions that no longer serve you. Once you get it that all fear is feeling separate from God, you can let go and surrender to the good that is at hand. It's best to live a fearless life allowing God to steer the ship and pave the way before you. Your job is to trust in the Universe and take that step so you can live the full life you so desire. This surrendering to Spirit does not mean that you give up your free will or your gift of choice. Rather it means that when a door seemingly closes, it is a loving change of course -- not one to be mourned but one to be celebrated. For me, I found myself united with a better chaplaincy school that resonates with my beliefs and, thankfully, my schedule. And I am doubly blessed because the Hospice I work for PRN extended my hours so I have the best of everything. I couldn't have imagined such a perfect situation on my own, but God knew how. This is precisely why we pray for "this or something better." We don't want to limit the all-giving God with our short-sighted human vision. Once we pray and let the desire go with love in our hearts, we don't have to know how to do anything but let God do everything by means of us. The next time you are faced with a disappointment, frustration or seeming block in your dreams, remember there are no wrong turns only redirections for your highest good. Embrace those redirections, and live from the standpoint of faith in a power of good that fulfills your heart's desires. After all, what you desire is seeking you. Let it unfold in its beautiful and loving way in all aspects of your life. Work with Me Are you facing a redirection in your life? Is there a new road you would like to take in career, relationships, prosperity, creativity or anything else? If so, schedule a coaching session today and we will work together to set you on your new course with joy, love and fearlessness. Contact me at revbarbgulbran@cs.com. Special coaching packages are available for Joy Newsletter subscribers. The only thing certain in life is that it changes. Sometimes those changes are happy ones; yet, everyone will experience tragic ones as well. These are the changes that propel us into awakening and soul growth. When loss occurs that rips us to the core such as loss of a relationship, a career, a hope, a dream, your health, how, exactly, can we navigate through such treacherous waters?
We must first remember that while life changes, God never changes. As we grieve our losses, know that the Divine Presence is always with us. Knowing this, we can begin to heal our wounds and come out spiritually stronger. Having faith does not mean that we do not grieve over our loss or that we neglect the grieving process. We can, and must, grieve our losses while maintaining our faith to come out with a heart opening to renewed love and strength. There are phases of the grieving process that we need to move through order to process our feelings and heal. Some of the phases include: Phase One - Expressing emotion. Whether you are a man who has been taught not to cry or a woman, crying is a healthy way to release emotion. Keeping the faith does not mean avoiding emotion, in fact, expressing feelings is good for you. Bottling emotion up will often come out later as a health issue or a psychological challenge. It's also a good idea to have people you can talk to about what you are experiencing. Phase Two -- Allowing the sadness. A certain amount of time feeling depressed is a normal and natural reaction to grief. Give yourself this time knowing it won't last forever (if it goes on too long, please seek help). As Maharishi Mahesh Yogi says, "It may be that the clouds are gathering. Let them come and go; they go as they come. Take no notice of their coming and, you go your way. Make your way through the clouds if they lie on the way. Do not try to dispel them, do not be held by them either, they will go the way they have come. They are never found stationary, but if you like to pause to see them wither away, wait for a while. The wind is blowing anyway; it is to clear the clouds from your way. Just wait to see the clouds wither away, and the sun, the same old sun of love will shine again in the fullness of its glory." Phase Three - Meeting physical challenges. Sometimes our grief is so heavy that we develop physical ailments such as headaches, backaches, stomachaches, etc. For this reason, it is important to practice self-care and nurture yourself while you are grieving so that your health is not compromised. Phase Four - Feeling guilt. We may feel guilty about the loss as if we have caused it. If it's loss of a relationship, we may feel that we said something wrong or we should have been a better person - one who is lovable and not rejected. If it's loss of a job or business, we may feel that we didn't try hard enough or were smart enough, so it's our fault for the loss. If a loved one makes their transition, we may feel that we should have taken better care of the person or resolved old issues. Taking guilt off the plate goes a long way in healing. Guilt is a useless emotion and detrimental to say the least. We internalize things and blame ourselves when generally it is not anything we said or did to cause the loss. Phase Five - Regaining joy. When suffering the effects of grief, it's more important than ever to ramp up your spiritual practice. There is little chance of moving on in a healthy way without the aide of God and the angels. No matter how badly you feel, make prayer a priority - even if it is just a short affirmation or a quick request to your angels. You do have heavenly help during this time and are never alone because you can never be separated from God - your Source. Also sit down on your meditation mat and meditate even for a few minutes each day. A little bit of meditation practice goes a long way in healing your heart and opening up the channels to receive love. After all, it is not time that heals all wounds; rather, it's love that heals all wounds. When grieving, open your heart to love and watch it pour in from God, the angels, lovedones, pets and unexpected sources. At this time of year many people take an assessment of their lives and make resolutions. They look toward the year ahead with an urge to do things better and differently. While many people have a longing for change, few have the courage to take the steps to foster meaningful growth. Making life changes takes trust in the Universe and the faith to step out and answer the Divine call.
Recently I was talking to a friend about such life changes and he said, "We're standing on the dock in fear when our passion is in the water." Fear is the force that will paralyze you and prevent you from diving into unchartered waters. However, when a desire arises in you, it is the call of Spirit to create through you. The desire was meant to be fulfilled. In fact, the desire is seeking an outlet by means of you. What happens if we ignore the urge or don't answer the call? We live uneventful, dull lives that don't improve because we don't have the faith required to jump in and take the plunge. As Charles Bukowski says, "If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it's your duty to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life." I ask you for this New Year, "How do you want your book of life to read?" Do you want it to describe a life that was status quo never having dared to take a chance on greater expression? Or do you want to know you followed your heart's passion and crossed an unknown bridge trusting Spirit as your guide? There's an old expression in New Thought that says, "What you conceive you can achieve." So what is holding you back from following your passion? Is it finances, relationship, job security or just plain fear to move forward? Are you afraid of what others would think if you stepped out and lived your authentic life? Give these fears over to God and know that you are not trapped by circumstances. You have the power to be free. If the choices you once made are not working for you, you are free to choose again. Never live life under the pretense of "I have to" or "I should." Ask God to show you another way. You will be guided to do something you will love, which is the most freeing thing of all. After all, if you hold on too tightly to a part of your life, situation or relationship that is not working anymore or is holding you back, there is little opportunity for growth. The situation will only get worse, and you will not have the open space for newness and the love that it promises. Let it go. Give it to God and the angels for transformation or release. If you are willing to let go of the situation with love in your heart, it will be replaced by something better or it will heal. Don't try to control the outcome. Don't hesitate. Just leap off the dock with faith and gratitude -- and let your heart's passion come alive. There's no getting away from it during the holiday season. We are bombarded with messages to be joyful, happy and celebratory. But this is not so for many people dealing with depression, loneliness and grief. Grief is not only prompted by death but includes losses such as a job, a pet, a relationship or community. How do you transcend feelings of despair when everywhere you look you see ads with smiling faces and families rejoicing in warm traditions? Here are seven tips for surviving the holidays if you are dealing with grief, loneliness or sorrow:
Most importantly, be gentle with yourself this holiday season and always. Affirm the following: There is a Power and Presence that is all good and all love and it is within me right now. I open my heart to this ever-flowing reservoir of love and anticipate greater peace, love and joy in my experience today. Love fills my heart and heals my soul and I am forever one with God -- my eternal companion. If you would like prayer support or spiritual counseling, contact me at revbarbgulbran@cs.com for special holiday packages. In the coming year, I wish you all healing, love, prosperity and deepening of your connection with God. Peace to all! We have all heard it said that suffering is part of the human condition. Simply by being alive at some point we encounter pain, loss and sorrow. Just when we think we can't handle what's happening and we feel that we can't bear any more, we lose hope, feel badly about ourselves and feel that no matter how hard we try the Universe has just hit us with a two by four. We've reached the end of our rope and see no way out.
When it hurts so badly that you want to cry out or strike out, this is a prime time to ramp up your spiritual practice. The most important part of the spiritual journey is not how you handle yourself when everything is rosy but how you react when the ship you are on is rocking on turbulent waters making your stomach churn and feeling there's no way to calmer seas. Whatever you are facing in your life whether it be a minor challenge or a challenge that knocks the wind out of your sails, there is a simple formula for transcending that suffering. Develop a compassionate and generous nature and you will gain mastery over the pain of suffering. Cultivating Compassion Quite simply, compassion means caring more about giving than receiving. This compassion, however, must spring genuinely from your heart. It's different from trying to do "good deeds" because you are sincerely committed to helping others from your deepest heart space. In this state of consciousness, there is a letting go of selfishness and a letting go of the ego, which is called egolessness. You are immersed in the one-pointed desire to help others and your light and energy help to alleviate other being's suffering (both humans and animals). You shed everything unlike God and help others find happiness with a gentle and tender approach. To cultivate this compassion, we first must drop attachment to form and become more attached to God. After all, forms on the relative plane of experience are always changing but the one constant form that never changes is God. What does it take to accomplish this? You gather up all the compassion you have cultivated on the meditation mat and go out into the world and put it into practice in daily life. You move away from trying to help others and simply help others as a natural result of your expanding heart. By doing so, your suffering is alleviated; yet, you are not giving compassion with that end in mind. You just help others because you feel a deep yearning to do so. The Rewards of Generosity When you have a generous nature, you no longer desire anything for yourself - it's a letting go or giving away. For example, it is giving others tangible items such as food, clothing or a prized possession. And it's a giving of non-tangible items such as a caress, a smile, understanding, listening, loving kindness and peace. You give not out of necessity but out of compassion and gentleness with a tender heart. Just like unconditional love - true generosity is giving without expecting anything in return. A simple practice to help awaken generosity is to catch yourself when you say "I want" and change it to "I give." This may feel uncomfortable at first - you may feel panicky or tight -- but move through it and give it a try. If panic arises because you feel you are not in a financial position to give, remember that you can give intangible gifts that don't cost any money. Perhaps the best thing about generosity is that even if you are not financially wealthy, you never affirm lack or limitation and you can help heal other's hearts with your gifts. In return you will see prosperity and abundance flourishing in your life. You will find that you are the inspiration that builds richness and joy in other people's lives. The bottom line? The more you give the more you get in terms of love, joy, prosperity and alleviation of suffering. Of course, these ends should never be your reasons for giving. Once you start enhancing the spirit of generosity, you become more inspired to give and it occurs naturally and effortlessly. A giving life is indeed an inspired life. This holiday season, I make a promise to practice generosity in new and expanded ways. I encourage you to also move away from the association with material trappings and practice a newfound compassion and generosity. Give in the highest sense. As always, I invite you to share your results and experiences with me by contacting me atrevbarbgulbran@cs.com. Happy holidays to all! Work With Me If you are ready to transcend suffering and live in deep, abiding joy, I invite you to work with me. We can work via phone, Facetime, Skype or in person to activate the power within you to fulfill your heart's desires. Email me at revbarbgulbran@cs.com to get started. |
AuthorDr. Barbara Gulbranson is one of the nation's leading spiritual teachers, author, spiritual coach, ordained minister and director of the Suicide Prevention Center, a program of United Health Services. Archives
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