At this time of year, I am inundated with coaching clients looking for a loving relationship. I am frequently asked questions such as, "How do I find my soul mate?" "How do I recognize my soul mate?" The answer to these questions is to simply master the art of loving, and everything else will fall into place.
So many of us assume that true love is what we see in movies and on television. In Hollywood films, the hero and heroine meet, fall in love, have a falling out and unite in the end to live happily ever after. At Valentine's Day, in particular, love is measured by how many diamonds, flowers, greeting cards and chocolate are purchased for the loved one. Women especially focus on their physical appearance with Americans spending over $12 billion dollars a year in cosmetic procedures. Sure these methods may bring a superficial, fleeting type of romantic love but it's not the avenue to true, lasting, spiritual love.
The key to attracting a soul mate is simply this: master the art of loving in a deep, genuine and sacred way. The type of love I am talking about is when our heart overflows with love for all, and we see the light of the Divine in everyone. This is unconditional love pure and simple - when we give without seeking, or asking for, anything in return. In this higher state of awareness, love is not reserved for one person alone. A higher consciousness develops when we are a channel for Divine Love. We undergo a spiritual transformation and expand our hearts to touch all of creation.
When we cross the bridge from conditional to unconditional love, we experience the true joy that giving of ourselves brings. Everything in your life shifts when your heart expands from giving unconditional love. You can no longer hold a grudge. You can't live from fear-based illusions. You cannot indulge in selfishness. Your vibratory rate rises, and your entire life changes because you become a magnetic energy for good.
We must listen to the urge to love beyond human constraints. We are, after all, on this planet to express God's love. While human forms of love change (people die, leave us, move away), God's love is permanent and everlasting. Love is the most powerful healing force in the universe. The last time you were emotionally wounded, it was love that healed you, love that dried your tears, love that revealed your wholeness once again.
To master the art of loving, give love. Give it fully. Give it freely. Don't keep it for just a chosen few in your life. Expand your love parameters. Let your radiant light shine and touch the heart of everyone you come in contact with. Give a smile, a touch, an act of kindness and compassion. No one can resist the flame of love that blazes out from you sweetly and beautifully.
Activating the love in you is the most powerful way to attract a soul mate. Love is irresistible. You become radiant with beauty when you are courageous enough to give your love to all. Keep in mind that your beauty is not measured by your physical attractiveness but in the amount of love in your heart that you shine onto others.
Another important key in mastering the art of loving is forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential to love. That includes letting go of the past. Holding onto grudges or resentments will not move you into a healthy relationship. Forgiveness is a key for finding a soul mate because it creates a shift in energy. It sets you free. What happened happened, and you can't change that. But you can change your energy around it. Your ability for happiness decreases as your inability to forgive increases because you have not let go. Hanging on to the past will block your future. Simply accept the gift from the experience and deepen your connection with God. Experiences of suffering and emotional woundedness are what's called in my book, Live Your Joy, "transformational drama" and "shake ups that wake us." It is through these challenges that we learn compassion, kindness and understanding. Struggles such as ones that have transpired in love relationships help us discover renewed strength and inner beauty. As painful as it might have been, forgiving expands us as spiritual beings and we come to a place of softness and gentleness.
The Divine Lover (which is God) beckons you to forgive, release and respond with love. Then we live in higher vibratory states and are fertile ground to meet a soul mate. Expansion of the heart through Divine Love results in love flourishing in personal relationships. All love given is precious. No amount of love exchanged is ever wasted. So don't be afraid to love with abandon no matter what may have happened in the past. Affirm:
I forgive, release and respond with love.
I will love every being and all of creation with all my heart and soul until all of life is uplifted by my love.
I give the endless love God has for me; one heart, one life, one mind, one love.
After practicing Divine Love, you are sure to attract your soul mate. When you do, you will recognize your beloved because you will feel drawn to that person. My research shows that people who have met their soul mates have felt magnetically drawn to the person stronger than just an attraction. Why? Because the soul recognizes the other person on a soul level. You feel a familiarity -- like you have known the person all your life. And you have because you have been together before being incarnated on this Earth.
This Valentine's Day master the art of loving by loving all in a sacred and holy way. Simply BE LOVE. This, my friends, is the secret to attracting a soul mate and the key to everlasting joy.
Be sure to take advantage of my Valentine's gift to you, which is the free book study guide on How to Attract Your Soul Mate. This guide is a powerful companion to the book. Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for your free copy today.
Peace to all.
Dr. Barbara Gulbranson is one of the nation's leading spiritual teachers, author, spiritual coach, ordained minister and director of the Suicide Prevention Center, a program of United Health Services.